I’m different now. I’m not the same person I was approximately a year ago.
Last year, I was new at the office. I had a boyfriend – my first face to face one. I had braided my hair. I was excited about my salary. I had been confirmed a scant few weeks before – I was officially an employee!
I was scared of what lay ahead of me. I still wanted to do my Master’s but the job, I’ll admit, took away that craving.
Now, I’m so different, had I seen myself now as I was then, I would have wondered what trials I had to face to get here!
The world has turned on its axis approximately 365 times since that girl existed.
I have changed – I’d like to think for the better.
Since that time, one friend has gotten a second child. Another is expecting twins. Another lost a father and gained a son. Another has been hired. I’ve met an old schoolmate I don’t remember (and she doesn’t remember me either). One has gotten engaged for a second time. Two friends have gotten married to each other. Yet another got married to the perfect guy – her soulmate.
My boyfriend (now ex) decided we should part ways. I found my wedding dress. I started dating again. I cut and dyed my hair – got the pixie cut I’ve always wanted. I’ve been on a diet I decided I didn’t like – but I stuck it out for the full duration. I started going to the gym (it’s been about three or four weeks now). I made new friends.
I discovered Doctor Who. Obama is no longer the US president. People have been attacked since then; people who were just normal citizens became survivors, victims, stories. My younger sister has graduated from University and started a business. I rediscovered Instagram – and people seem to like my posts. I’m taking more photos. I bought my first phone – with my salary.
I learned about my alcohol threshold. I have almost killed a major work project (-_-*). I became a little more aware of myself and what I like and what I want. I have been pushed to send out applications for my Masters – it’s time to stop running away from it. I have started writing again. I have been reading books again.
I have currently saved up enough money to buy a plot of land if I wish – something I had never thought possible. I am planning a trip to Zanzibar for my birthday. I discovered Sophia Amoruso and #girlboss.
I am such a new person, I can’t even think where to begin. I’m a year older. I was a solid 24 then and now I’m staring 26 in the face.
I am heading into my 30s. I look back at my life and choices I wish I had made and other things that changed me fundamentally as a person. I am not the same. How could I be?
The world is still turning. And life is still happening. And, as the Desiderata says:
…whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.
And that gives me some comfort. I am going to change again. 26 will give way to 27. I hope I will have been braver, at the very least. I hope I will have made something of myself.
But I will not worry. No doubt, like the me now from that time, I will have evolved. I will have changed in some little way. I will be someone new. I will have seen another 365 rotations of the earth and just as many sunsets. I will be what I will be and all I can hope is that that amazing woman is a beautiful human being.