Now, I have never been to Asia but it has always fascinated me. I don’t mean Asia in the very wrong very general way that people refer to Africa. I mean the entire eastern end of the continent. I have watched all sorts of dramas, read all sorts of books, watched movies and done a bit of research here and there.
Perhaps my fascination comes with the fact that the culture is so rich and diverse over there. India is different from Vietnam is different from Taiwan is different from Japan is different from Malaysia is different from Thailand is different from China is different from Mongolia… it all fascinates me beyond anything I can really describe.
It’s no wonder then that this evening, as I scrolled through recommended movies, I found this one Chinese movie, “I Belonged to You.” And it’s a romantic drama too so how could I resist?
Talk about a weep-fest! I mean, when you’ve been around the block a few times as regards romantic movies – those with depth and those without – patterns begin to emerge. So that awesome declaration of love seemed like the perfect time for the love to end, lending the movie just the right amount of sadness. That seemingly random stranger at the beginning had a lot to do with the story in the end, they had been affected by the main character so much, and the main character was yet to find out… you get the gist.
I honestly wasn’t expecting to cry. I will now give spoilers so if you’re planning to watch the movie, stop now, watch and come back to the post. If you insist on reading forward, that’s up to you.
So, the moment those lights started flashing, I couldn’t help myself. I was in tears in seconds, heaving and sobbing like a child who’s lost their favourite toy. The hug in the market at night tore me apart. The lady walking in the street with a sad smile on her face was my undoing.
So not much of a spoiler, but if you’ve watched the movie, you remember. You know what I’m talking about.
Sometimes I wish I could tell stories like that – stories with a depth that I really haven’t seen so often in the many movies I’ve watched. I try to steer away from movies that make me cry – especially the ones that make me ugly cry. This is one of those movies. I wanted to wail but, you know, people don’t generally like to have their attention drawn by a wailing adult – especially on who is crying over a movie they consciously chose to watch.
So here I sit with my heart full and my eyes puffy, still in the aftermath of the movie. I don’t trust myself to speak. But I’ve learned something about myself today. I want love that’s so deep, so beautiful, so wonderful that I wonder how I lived without it before. I want to have a mutual devotion in that love, so much so that nothing could shake us as long as we are together. I want to touch more lives than I could ever imagine, so much so that if I ask for a small favour when I’m in majorly dire straits, nobody would hesitate to oblige.
I can only hope and keep living for it. I think Asia in general, as a whole and as individual parts of a whole is awesome, if what I’ve learned is any indication. I hope to visit one day and maybe for a little while, become a part of all that wonder.
Maybe I’m being naive with my musings. I’m just a girl with a blog after all. I’ve only ever been as far in my travels as the second country over. But I can still dream. Until then, dramas, movies, books and the internet are what I’ve got. And for now, it’s enough.